Is there anyone out there?

Does anyone read this?

*pause*

No?

*silence*
- posted by Me @ 9:28 PM

I've been feeling alone again. Just the usual, I guess. I'm so sick of everything. Tired of being so self-centered and full of despair. I watched Sideways again, and it reminds me of someone I know. Sometimes I think of all the people who've come into and left my life. All the friends and acquaintances -- people whom I know well and others I scarcely know, yet have left a lasting imprint somehow. I wish I wasn't so horrible at keeping in touch with everyone. I want the companionship, yet I'm afraid of answering the phone, of writing back, of..whatever it is that keeps the connection going. Then sometimes, I get a spark of I guess you could call it courage (but it's very fleeting) and I do things like email people back, and try to initiate contact, but I tend to flop and fail. Sometimes I'm too distant, sometimes I'm too overzealous (to make up for the distance, I suppose). I'm exhausted, and I just want a break from myself.
- posted by Me @ 2:04 PM

Seriously lacking motivation these days. On the upside, I don't care! And yes, I've been neglecting this journal! Here are three different scenarios: Sometimes what you thought you wanted is not really what you expected it to be (and hence, not what you wanted). On the other hand, sometimes something you thought you didn't want, is something that you really DID want afterall. Also, it is sometimes the case that something you wanted - once attained - is surprisingly enough, exactly what you really did want.

In any person's life, quantitatively speaking, the three scenarios will play out rather evenly.
- posted by Me @ 11:19 AM

-Bobo fish died.
-Scorching heat inside apartment makes me want to postpone writing two 10 page papers due at the end of this week.
-Pirates of the Carribean 2 is pretty good! Lady in the Water is better. The Night Listener (the new Robin Williams movie) sucked ass.
- posted by Me @ 12:43 PM

New member of the fam. You can see his photo here.
- posted by Me @ 1:40 PM

Technology hates me. Something (I don't know what) just happened which caused the screen in which I was adding a new journal entry to instantly disappear - of course taking along with it the entry I was working on. The annoying part is that I was practically through with it. Now I have to start over. I HATE THIS NON-SENSE! It seems like every shit-damn-fucking day I have to rewrite something because of a stupid technology issue, or operator error (caused by me).

I am seriously considering a major overhaul to this site. It looks more plain and more boring each time I look at it. Plus, I am planning on adding REAL content. GOOD content, not I'm-so-depressed-and-I-feel-so-sorry-for-myself bullshit.

Really, I'm not as damaged as my entries make it appear. I'm not as depressed as I seem. Really. I'm somewhat content with the direction my life is taking. Could it be that I am actually allowing myself to revel in my own happiness?! Life is too short to take too seriously. And I try not to dwell on my concerns, my insecurities, and my emotions. Life isn't about my petty problems. It's about making the world a little better. And it's about moving on and away from those who don't want you in their lives. It's about resignation and acceptance.

I did mention that I would add photos of the Europe trip. The difficulty is that I have so MANY digi-cam photos that I need to resize, and polaroids that I need to scan. Because of the sheer number of the photos, I don't even really want to START on the project. Attempting to finish is . . .well, not even in the foreseeable future.

One of my primary fantasies in life is to have a big enough closet to house my ever-growing clothing collection. I have piles and piles of clothing. And more piles of clothing. You would think that because I periodically donate clothing to Salvation Army or Goodwill, I would somehow alleviate these mounds of material objects - but sadly, NO. (The shelf-life of my clothing is rather short. I get tired of them easily - so this includes proper disposal!) I end up going to the mall or other random department stores, or ONLINE and buy MORE stuff. What can I say? I'm American. I shop. I buy. I consume. I persist in making the capitalistic market stronger, one purchase at a time.

So I have all of these clothes. But not enough bodies for them to be worn. Yet when I try to pick out something to put on, I can NEVER find anything I want to wear. Or I end up wearing the same old things because I am so comfy in them - and so many of the items (cute stuff!!) I bought remain untouched. I am a silly little girl. But I suppose every girl is silly. At least I think so.
- posted by Me @ 12:30 AM

Austria may very well be my favorite country. I enjoyed Vienna and Salzburg tremendously. (I ended up NOT going to GENEVA. Thank goodness, because from my experience in Zurich, I probably wouldn't have liked it.) I had a blast on "The Original Sound of Music Tour" in Salzburg. It cost 30 euros, a discounted price because I'm a student. ; ) I didn't realize that only the outside portions of the film were shot in Austria. Everything that occurred indoors was filmed in the 20th Century Fox studios in southern California. I'll post the many photos up on this site eventually. I ended up going to a few more countries than I had expected too. The train is an excellent means of transportation. I never really thought so until this vacation. I'm in love with the European landscape!! I took the SFO flight to London, and from there took a connecting flight to, of course, Vienna...I love Vienna. They have little poopoo shelves in their toilets. It's kinda hard to explain - you have to see it for your self. The people are so nice, and the city is so CLEAN and pretty. And I felt like I was in a movie set, it was that gorgeous. However, I wanted to go on THE SOUND OF MUSIC TOUR in Salzburg, so I took the train west to Salzburg, having tremendous fun there, and I then took the train to MUNICH!!! Germany, yes, that's right. But the locals referred to it as Munchen. I never really liked the German language much before (sounds a bit gruff), but I am absolutely in adoration of it now. What a difference a little immersion makes. From there I took the train to ZURICH!!! Switzerland, yes, that's right.

I had high hopes for Switzerland. I didn't like it at all. My purse almost got stolen. And the people are like peacocks, strutting about, as if on parade. I thought it was an awfully pretentious place. From there, the night train to PARIS!!! We were all dirty and yucky because the bathroom sink attached to our car on the train wasn't working. GRR! So I had all of this food crap stuck in my braces- rather disgusting. And we couldn't wash our faces. Yeah, I won't remark further on our grime, but yeah we ended up wearing the same clothing for 2 days in a row... First thought as I entered the train station in Paris is the dirt and filthiness of the city! But oh well. Yes, I saw THE Mona Lisa at the Louvre, amidst many other tourists pushing and shoving trying to get to the front to get a better look, but the closest you could get to it was about five feet away because The Mona Lisa had it's very own large wall, and the area around it was sectioned off. And people were taking photos of it with their mobile phones and small cameras (even though there were signs everywhere saying you weren't allowed to do that) AND the guards were always getting angry when they noticed that pictures were being taken - but nothing stopped it from happening anyway. Yeah, so lots of fun was had at the Louvre. Old Greek and Roman statues with heads and arms cut off, small weiners, and uneven balls. I liked the bathrooms in the Louvre - they were clean and the walls were marble (or at least it was a good-looking imitation). I didn't know the Louvre was the old royal palace - it makes sense, I don't think France would have gone to all that trouble to make such a large beautiful building just as a fucking MUSEUM!

After spending time there, we decided to walk all around (we were gonna take the subway system but opted to just walk) to the Eiffel Tower. It was a prettty long fucking walk but it was well-worth it as we were able to see a greater part of the old part of the city (the part we wanted to see). And we saw a building which claimed to be the place where Voltaire died. And we passed by Musee d'Orsay where they were tons of people milling around and a large rhinoeros statue out in front...and as we continued on I noticed this pretty little French girl with the most gorgeous long curly red hair. I loved it. I wish I had hair like hers! Oh well. Anyway, the Eiffel Tower just all-of-a-sudden loomed in front of us - and it was BREATHTAKING. Really, it's pretty big but not as big you might think. Nonetheless, it was awe-inspiring. We took lots of photos (of course I looked gross but that's another thing entirely) and we saw lots of uniformed French police/soldiers whatever they were. And then we continued walking around (because that is the best way to get a feel for the city!!) and saw lots of people, and went on the subway (because our feet were killing us) and holy moley, the subways were PACKED. Man, it was damn sweaty in there...and the subway goes damn fast. I loved it. We arrived at Gare du Nord (train station) and bought super expensive EuroStar train tix to London. And we were so tired that we slept on that short train ride - it was only about 1 hr and 45 minutes, and we missed seeing the underground tunnel through the English Channel. A big regret. Next time, next time. And London was rather wet when I got there. Lots of walking once again through the Westminster (spelling?) area and through very exclusively RICH areas...and it was freaking impossible to find a hotel/motel that was affordable. TO BE CONTINUED.
- posted by Me @ 1:28 PM

I haven't seen any stars out in the sky since I moved up here. I've lost any closeness that I've previously felt towards the great celestial infinite. The stars are not a reliable constant, and neither are the things that we once thought were made for us forever.

On Tuesday I am going to Vienna...and then onto Geneva. I've always wanted to see Austria and Switzerland. Yay, for The Sound of Music. I've never been to Europe before. I'll be there for only 5-6 days. That's all I could hope to get off from work.

I'm having a difficult time coming to terms with the person I've become. It is true that idealistic children turn into depressed adults. What I don't like is that most depressed adults won't hold themselves accountable for their actions. You can't blame your depression on other people. I don't want to. But I still sometimes feel as if I am. Blaming others that is. And it sickens me.

Waiting is for the weak. If not now, when? I won't be waiting for you to change your mind anymore. I need to feel wanted. I am not wanted, and I am going to cope with that. If it's not you, then it is someone else. Because if you don't want it to be you, I won't try to convince you it is, or that it should be.

Today is my cousin's birthday. We played with Polly Pockets, Littlest Pet Shop animals, and played "school" and "shopping" so many many many times when we were growing up. I lived for those times when she would sleep over. I loved spending time with her, and to this day, I often reminisce about the many hours we spent watching movies and cartoons with each other, and just hanging out. I look back upon it all with fondness. Makes me wonder why it is that people go their own separate ways, and why we don't keep in touch. I wonder if she ever thinks of me.
- posted by Me @ 11:35 PM

I won't be happy until I have everything. And everything is you. I wrote this just now, while thinking of you.

These thoughts of you are silver dust.
Swept behind, swirl of tepid blue-
Zephyr, linger long, love or lust?

Mystic muse flows through gold or rust,
Lifting her wings of silken dew-
These thoughts of you are silver dust.

Astral white heights of windy gust,
Into the black sky, tear drops flew-
Zephyr, linger long, love or lust?

Sweet chords, either maybe or must,
Changes not that which is struck true-
These thoughts of you are silver dust.

Grey films of you are subdued trust,
Like orbs of rain in shadow stew-
Zephyr, linger long, love or lust?

Lie far or near, bullet or bust,
Souls departed while flowers grew-
These thoughts of you are silver dust.
Zephyr, linger long, love or lust?
- posted by Me @ 6:47PM

It's sort of a villanelle. What the HELL was I thinking?

O, the mad’ning voices I hear !
Deaf’ning, defiant, years ago born;
In mine own head, so very near !

Its wrath, unbridl’d fury I fear
Temper’d not by anger’d scorn;
O, the mad’ning voices I hear !

Not merely jest, but outright jeer,
Suckl’d the Devil’s own horn,
In mine own head, so very near !

Ah! Th’ breth and depth it dost rear,
From vesper’s ascent ‘til morn—
O, the mad’ning voices I hear !

Life lost in its lost living ‘tis dim, yet pitied clear.
Pillag’d, raped and savagely suffer’d torn,
In mine own head, so very near !

Burden of burdens, year after damnable year,
Time and again, dead and reborn, weary and worn—
O, the mad’ning voices I hear !
In mine own head, so very near !
- posted by Me @ 11:18PM

"Happiness is not a destination, but a method of living."

The journey matters as much as, if not more than, the destination. The prize comes not at the end, but at every step along the way. But, on second thought, I am plagued by doubt. What is happiness? And what is truth? What is truth if not merely the negation of falsity? Intuitively, truth is reality. It is that which is perceivable and tangible. However, if an entity is imperceptible does that make it any less true? Is truth necessarily limited to the frailties of human faculty? Is this all it comes down to? Is truth as empty as a dictionary definition without essential meaning? Is this a battle of semantics, rather than of substance? Is this as tiring to read as it is to write? Have I driven myself to mental oblivion? Are there any answers at all? And if there are, am I then just asking the wrong questions?

Did I really write this years ago? Why are these same questions still unanswered? Still relevant?

The elusiveness of the lingering grey on the thin stretch of the horizon reminds me of you. I reach for this grey tinge in the sky as I also reach for you, yet like the phantasms of my creation, these are but only dreams whose paths extend into an unconscious realm. Still, I nourish hope as one tends a flower garden because in my youthful estimations, the shadow is but the form, and I dare to love what I dare not clasp. For beneath the night's shiftless starlit canopy, and through the morning's blinding light, the enduring vigilance of these memories of you are indestructible though ever-changing like a globule of mercury.

Our loved ones have seen the best and the worst in us--they've seen us at our most admirable and they've seen us at our most deplorable. From the highest peaks of the mountain down to the lowest gulley, they've weathered the cycle of ascent and descent in life, and are surprisingly willing for more adventures and obstacles with us. Still, it is these same individuals who know us most deeply, and care about us the most, who are the ones who can give us the most pain.

Though it seems like a contradiction at first glance, those whom we love the most are truly the ones who can inflict the most pain on us. (Likewise, those whom we love the most are the ones who can impart upon us the most joy and happiness.) Why this is so stems from the central importance of the loved ones. For example, a complete stranger could never hurt us as much as a loved one. Because loved ones mean so much to us, when they hurt us, it hurts so much more. We wonder how they could hurt us. We begin to doubt whether they ever even loved us to begin with. As necessarily as "A" precedes "B" in the alphabet, this doubt leads to even greater doubt. Confirmation that the love is real is essential to destroy these doubts. However, when this confirmation becomes inaccessible in any way, the doubt grows to unimaginable proportions, and begins to take on a life of its own. As this doubt takes a life of its own, the rational mind gives way to irrationality. One sees things not in objective wrong or right, or objective good or bad, but rather through the tinted lenses of glasses worn by an individual whose mind has so completely altered gears---gears that transform an existence of productive happiness into that of an existence merely struggling for survival. The resulting skewed perception lends itself to negative emotion. This in turn becomes negative thoughts. This finally becomes negative behavior. This all-around negativity obviously does not make for a positive outcome.

As surely as the sun does shine even upon the downtrodden, however, the positive overcomes the negative, as it always must. From underneath the chaos and rubble of a bruised human spirit, ne'ertheless remains a vitality and strength unmarred by sorrow and rejection.
- posted by Me @ 12:57PM

A journal entry from 3 years ago.

Most of us will go through life without leaving a lasting imprint on the world. As nameless faces in the crowd, we are neither heroes nor villains. We constitute the multitudes forgotten by history. Yes, history will mention us, but only as part of the larger whole. Is there nothing worse than to live life so unexceptionally? Most do not possess the academic drive to discover a world-altering scientific revelation as did Darwin, Newton, or Einstein. Most do not possess the social drive to dedicate one's life to serving others like Ghandi or Mother Teresa. Most do not possess the entrepeneurial drive of Donald Trump or Bill Gates, who created a name for themselves through their corporate empires. Most do not possess the political drive to become a national leader such as Alexander the Great, William the Conqueror or Napoleon Bonaparte. What all of these individuals share is the ability to distinguish themselves from the mediocre masses.

Thus, we are faced with a choice: To live life in the radiance of heroic glory or the infamy of notoriety. One must either be exceptionally good (revolutionizing the world through memorable art, music, philosophic thought and on), or exceptionally evil (perhaps committing the most horrific atrocities and inconceivable crimes). Only the extremities of the spectrum become noteworthy.

Does this even matter? If you are not remembered after death, does that make your life any less meaningful? Is the value of life and living contingent upon your personal contributions to the world? Is an individual's personal worth measured by his/her ability to contribute to the world in some noteworthy manner, whether for good or for evil? If you are only important to your family and not to the world, was your life lived in vain? Or is this just an issue of the familial realm versus the collective realm, and which one perceives as more intrinsically valuable?
- posted by Me @ 2:27 AM

And there are tears. I wrote these in fall 2001. It still seems fitting.

"For my beloved"

My wretched heart yearns for thee
The world I offer for but a glimpse--
So I may gaze upon thy sublimity
As mine own noble prince.
From thy crown to thy silver'd heel
Thou hast me bewitch'd and beguil'd
By thy radiant warmth I eternal feel
Likst immortal youth is thine child.
Ah! How thy darken'd brow doth enthrall
With such splendor'd fashion that amazeth--
Making all others seem lacking and sickly pall:
For none compares with thee whom I loveth.
And all thro' the wintry climes and Everglades
Shines a love, between lad and lass, which ne'er fades.

--------------------------------------

And the following was an attempt at making a sestina.

"Lost in love and loving lost"

My soul hath wither’d low
Losing luster and glow;
My heart’s beat dies slow
Coursing i’ the body flow
Whilst tears constantly grow
‘Til the red i’ mine eyes show.

Mine love for thee I show
Yet I know thou thinkst me low.
Still as years pass, my love ‘twill grow
Adoring thine eye of blue-grey-green glow
‘Tis unending love’s sweet flow—
Ne’er to slow.

Tho' I walk aged and slow,
I vow continue show
Goodly words from mine lips flow
Praising thou from mount’n high to vall’y low...
Shalt thou sparkle, shine and glow?
Aye, always doth beauty whilst grow.

My heart’s well shalt grow
All the more, either fast or slow
I’ keeping with starry lunar glow
And celestial constancy show;
Ne’er waning low
Tho' mine sorrows heavily flow.

Tear clouds of heav’n flow
Unto earth steadily grow
‘Til my bosom sinks low,
All fast turns slow—
Empty ‘cept sadness show
Whose happiness ne’er more glow.

Myself griev’d in black’nd glow
Whenst whisperings flow
Asking: didst mine spirit show
Him kindness needst for love’s grow?
Mine soul answer’d slow:
Nay, I know not but I feel’st low.

Mayst I follow thou glow so I shouldst grow
I’ mine love’s strong flow and his caresses slow
Likst spirit’s deep orbs show that its shimmer hangs low...
- posted by Me @ 5:13 PM

If it isn't mentioned, did it still happen?

Neither I warrant—
Abysmal crypt
nor felicity’s fate,
As entranced exit,
exit entranced:
one, same, all.
Pursu’d pursuing,
pursuing pursu’d,
yet still finding none,
Whisper’d scream,
screaming whisper’d,
“I’ve seen you,
and seeing seen,
I saw more, less, and not at all.”
- posted by Me @ Time is meaningless PM

Another year. Same fucked up shit. New shirt though.
- posted by Me @ 7:54 PM

"What we do during our working hours determines what we have; what we do in our leisure hours determines what we are."

I'm tired of being me. Isn't there someone I can be instead of me? For a little while?

Humans are the only animals that cry. I wonder why that is. For the past two months, I've been crying a terrific amount. Should I win an award for something like that? Actually, it is becoming very irritating. I'm not typically the crying type. Sure, I have spanned the wide range from outrageous euphoria to wreckless despair, afterall who hasn't? But never had I truly cried about things 'til lately. I'm beginning to think I'm growing soft, when I so prided myself on remaining atleast somewhat emotionally nonchalant.

"Life is there to be lived, rather than to be written about."

Yet here I am writing about what? The lameness of my life? I've been here before.
- posted by Me @ 6:42 PM

"I miss the innocence I've known."

I went to look for you. The train throttled forward at full force, bringing everyone but you. It was not so long ago when you wanted to see me, wanted to be with me, and when I made the decision to arrive - you invariably departed.

We spin the web, longer tighter stronger, until it will never disentangle. We play the minor roles, casted as the drifting nameless. These are the low-budget films of our disposable one-term lives, the relics of the thrown away, and the broken down.

It was a grey afternoon as I walked in your neighborhood, heavy with intricate layers of ghosts and mist. Jettisoned in an ambiguous silver labyrinth, this is the simple place you call home. Your world and mine came crashing together, and it felt like fall.

The rain, my companion and jealous foe, with its unsurpassed strength and reach, acted in dismal mockery to my turbulent emotions. The haunting melody of a miasmic union of wind and rain lifted me on its wings, turning me inside out. The notes, very sweet and strung like fresh laundry, came alive, its breathing syncopated with my restless heartbeat and the dizzying whispers swirling in my head.

The unsilent drops ricocheted to and fro, foreign and wet, bathing me in a language of equivocating rhetoric blurring into militant law. I welcomed the tepid clarity of these angel teardrops, as they touched you and me alike. But with every droplet's descent, it was as if we died, as soldiers in a battle for the blind. Lives read as a categorical list, of summation and subtraction, and a cumulative total of wins over losses, losses over wins, the red and black lines, an incoherent collaboration of the good and bad days.

And as I ran through the streets, unnoticed, and seeking a glimpse of you, I felt foolish. It was precisely the basic wish to see you again, this spur-of-the-moment to-hell-with-the-world thinking that sent me here. My guiding forces were impulsive and I was led by the inopportune belief that you cared and would welcome me.

"Women surrender completely by word, and men by sword."

Do you know this is for you? Regardless, it is here.
- posted by Me @ 3:55 PM

Writing is a form of prayer.

I did not find God. He is not to blame. I am. I could not and would not surrender my personal vision of Him. I admit that there were times when I assuredly believed he played a role in my life, only to find that it was merely another delusion. I never knew Him. I never knew you didn't care. I suppose I didn't know you either.

You drifted through my unknown dream world again last night. You were there, illuminating the sky. I saw you, but as it were, you had your eye on something else. In what seemed like an eternity, but perhaps only an instant, you in turn gazed at me - with a look of both apprehension and gladness, I am unsure which, so I mention them both. Angry and Lovely. Unforgiving and Lonely. You said: "There is a choice. We have a chance."

But your spirit is stronger than the memory. Your memory. My memory. Shining and enduring, and we were dead before birth. The promise, the possibility and the potential - within reach, but forbidden. You said it all. One Word. Goodbye. It was finished, and it hadn't even started. I am the invisible, the If Only.

The grey impression soaked in your shadow, yearning for a loving expression. It is not without importance - for faith, fortitude, friendship, a fragment of your attention is a dream, a shimmery coin from the pocket of an immutable Night. Where were you? "Please!" she yelled. But you were gone.

And yet, I hope to hear your voice again.

Maybe, it is as they say: Life is wasted on the Living.
- posted by Me @ 2:35 PM

What do you do:

...When you falter and fail, and no one even knows, let alone cares?

...When you are awash with grief, but you didn't even know why or how it happened, it just is?

...When your emotions exceed your ability to make real changes, and there is only one destination: resignation?
- posted by Me @ 12:29 PM

Love is the only insensible and senseless thing that truly makes sense.
- posted by Me @ 10:53 PM

I need a reason for this to go on. I can't think of a single one. I'm disinterested in practically everything. And I'm tired. Listless and unsatisfied. I hate this domain name, I only got it because punkypower was already taken. I always loved Punky Brewster and her "punky power" mantra. I annihilated ALL of the journal entries dated in 2003. I only have several entries for 2004 so I kept them.
- posted by Me @ 6:27 PM

Clicky here for the Chi Chai Monchan wallpaper! SO CUTE, isnt it?



SIX MONTHS since my last entry here. Ha ha ha ha. Cry. Length and width is time, and it matters not. Days, weeks, months and countless moments of the same unspeakable loneliness. There is no reason for it, just the usual sense of loss, as if there were something more. But who the fuck cares and why should it matter? It doesn't. Why do I even think that I could possibly deserve more than the daily ins and outs and the inane drivel. What is this but a self-serving barely-even-there forgotten site. Plus, let's face it, this I-feel-so-sorry-for-myself bullshit has been around so long that it's been in-and-out-of-style so much more than my limited comprehension can even begin to grasp.
- posted by Me @ 8:45 AM

Usually I do okay but on days like this, I wonder why I even bother, why worry, why try to better myself, what is this endless social fixation with self improvement. What is all of this trying to get somewhere all about. As a kid, I always had the dreams of attainment, of trying to "get" things - the typical luxuries, the car the house the boat, the symbols of success. I've been so disillusioned these past years thinking things like what the fuck are we trying to achieve and succeed for? Who cares if we're hobos or the richest scuzzillionaire around. Dont we all arrive at the same finishing line? Sure you can have a fancy mahogany coffin in a marble mausoleum or you can be cremated with your remains in a tin box, but what is dead is still dead, the remains are nothing.
- posted by Me @ 9:18 PM

Lately I've been having the hum-drum-ho-hum blues. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe it's just the feeling of being expendable. I guess everyone is expendable - the world continues on, life goes on. I long for the content passivity of other animals (dogs and cats, for instance). They could care less whether their existence was worthwhile, or if they made a difference - it doesn't matter either way to them. Humans like to trouble themselves with self-importance and large egos.
- posted by Me @ 4:31 PM

I'm reading The Turner Diaries by "Andrew Macdonald" (William Pierce). Why is this book such a big deal? Supposedly it was Timothy McVeigh's "blueprint" for the Oklahoma City Bombing. Funny how the media is so quick to blame books/TV shows/video games for all the horrific crimes of passion that have occurred the last 10-20 years. Why blame the environment when you should rightly blame the individual for being screwed up? If everyone blamed or attributed the shit around them for the shit they themselves do, then no one would take responsibility for their own actions. Wait, isn't that EXACTLY what is happening right now? Everywhere you turn there are people playing the blame game. "It's not my fault, I had a crappy childhood...this and this happened...and I was abused by my parents, etc..." YEAH YEAH WHATEVER. Everyone has a sad sob story to tell about how little attention they received, or too much attention given by overprotective parents. Be accountable for your own actions! Dammit. The media will continue to thwart the guilt -- attributing books or video games for the violence today. Seriously folks, violence is part of the human legacy. Look back thousands of years from today. Weren't there hideous atrocities even BEFORE the advent of the written word and way before the creation of VIDEO GAMES?! Now, I have a couple of dogs, and they "fight" with each other regularly. Isn't it within the genome(s) of animals in general that we all should bicker for limited resources such as food, water, and toys?
- posted by Me @ 5:51 PM